The Ego in Relationship II » nTells

The Ego in Relationship II The Ego in Relationship II

The Ego in Relationship II » nTells

The Ego in Relationship II The Ego in Relationship II (nTells)

The Ego in Relationship II

By Godwin Nwaokike In Enlightenment On 2020/09/27

Godwin Nwaokike
wrote in Enlightenment
Posted on 2020/09/27
Last edited 16th January 2021 09:58:07 AM
The Ego in Relationship II

The Ego in Relationship II

You approached your relationship not with the intent of sharing love but with the intent to win affection and avoid loneliness.  With the fear of being alone, you approached her for a relationship. In relationship with her, you will keep dancing on the edge of loneliness, “What if she leaves me?” So you keep doing things and present yourself a certain way so that you can avoid loneliness. You are not being authentic. Whatever you do to avoid loneliness becomes a link that holds the potential to that loneliness you are avoiding. It is a counterproductive way to love. Sensitivity to loss and rejection results in dependency on another person who “completes” you. You complain about not being very close with her and the next minute you worry about the thought of being too close with her. You formed a relationship to battle the turmoil going on inside you. You have not resolved the turmoil. Actually, you want the relationship to do that but it cannot. The relationship has become a distraction. It is a means of escape. When the high of the early stage of the relationship wears off, the turmoil inside you alerts you of its presence. Then you unconsciously blame your partner for not getting rid of your fear. You quarrel and fight. The inner conflict manifests in your external world – as it is within, so it is without.

You did not start out to share love but to steal it. You did not fall in love, you fell in need. The whole drama in your relationship is about you attempting to fill a void with a person. The earlier you realize that person cannot fill that void, the better. How can your peace totally depend on what someone does or does not do? You wanted your partner to show you love by doing something. She did not do it. You got angry and you blame her for getting you angry. You are angry because she did not pretend to want to do what you wanted her to do. Had she pretended, you would be happy. She would have been inauthentic and deceived you, and you would have felt happy. A superficial problem is covering your fear. By not resolving that fear, you compound your sensitivity.


Marriage is a wonderful institution but marriage is being used by many to fulfill the needs of ego. You want to commit, you want to present a ring to her. You like how she makes you feel about yourself. You want to feel more of that and you desire her. You are hooked. You are addicted to a person. You do not realize that and both of you go into marriage. The reason you went into marriage with her is how she makes you feel. That reason will take over your marriage and if you are not careful, that reason will cause your separation. Your ego wants this so that you can feel happy. Her ego wants that so that she can feel secured. The marriage increasingly becomes your ego’s agenda versus hers. Conflict again and again. Mentally you live somewhere and mentally she lives somewhere else. Both of you have not just taken positions, both of you are actively defending your positions at war with each other. So both of you wait for the other’s trigger so as to make a move. At this stage, many couples will agree that the love is gone. No, love is not gone. Love is trapped.

Your ego creates problems. It wants love to solve its problems while it goes on creating new ones. You cannot control people. Stop trying to control her life – her interests, opinions, behaviour, even how she loves you. Let go of that script in your head telling you how she ought to love you. You may then realize that she has been trying to share love with you in ways you have never acknowledged.

The Ego in Relationship II

Also Read Intuition II

Please share this page

Comment below and tell the world

If you have a story you want to share to the world, send it to [email protected], chat here or whatsapp or click here to send it now.

Be the first to comment

What's Your Opinion on The Ego in Relationship II.. reply

About nTells

We are the number one lifestyle, educational, advertising, web and graphic designs platform. Our mission as part of our many unending visions to leave the world better than we've found it, we work hard to provide relevant information, to make every organisation and individual unique with their content and products. moreJoin us

Related Topics

Popular Pages

Stella Onye Ok.. 10 Unique HP L.. LA BUENA VIDA .. 10 Best Window.. Top 9 Most Aff.. nTells I.T Tra.. KASARACHI FAVO.. Loveth Obi Okeakpu Grace 9 Best Latest .. Mmaduabuchi C... Iloh Augustin.. 17 Great Books.. Rosemary Josep.. Top 7+ Fastest.. Peter Nduka Asheazi Jatau 27+ Best Chris.. LA BUENA VIDA .. Ken Asika TINACY's P..

WORDS OF THOUG.. Facebook Avata.. Experiencing a.. The Ego in Rel.. Downloading, I.. 14 Successful .. Stillness II Hold Onto Your.. Responsibility.. The Power of S.. Thinking Addic.. What happened .. Melancholy Tem.. Rental Arbitra.. Coronavirus -7.. Understanding .. How To Know Th.. The Snake in t.. Understanding ..
We rely on advertising to provide you with free content!
Please allow cookies in your browser settings for smooth functioning of the platform. We use cookies from Google to enhance your experience, to display customized content in accordance with your browser settings, and to help us better understand how you use our website. By not taking action, or continuing to site, you indicate your agreement.

Support our works on nTells

We depend on your support to operate.
Help us create a more trustworthy Internet with good information!



nTells 2017 · 2021© All Rights Reserved
Hosted · Digital Ocean · Use & Get FREE $100 Credit Now!